


Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boys

by Seekingtheoblivion



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, M/M, coffeshop au, i had fun writing this at least, silly meetcute, sorta - Freeform, way too many queen lyrics, what the hell am i even doing anymore?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 13:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8015275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seekingtheoblivion/pseuds/Seekingtheoblivion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave meets and asks Karkat out in a coffeeshop using Queen lyrics. Karkat responds in kind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boys

**Author's Note:**

> lyrics from Bohemian Rhapsody, The Show Must Go On, Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, Don’t Stop Me Now, Play The Game, I Was Born to Love You, We Are The Champions, and We Will Rock You…I think that’s it. Obvi, I don’t own the lyrics. Or the characters. 
> 
> for now its a one shot. who knows, maybe sometime i'll add more! 
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading!! <3

“Good Morning Karkitty!” Karkat’s friend Nepeta greeted him with a bright smile from behind the counter and turned to make his usual cup of coffee.

She was the owner of the small coffeeshop, A Purrfect Cup. Karkat tolerated the cat puns because Nepeta made the best damn cup of coffee he had ever tasted. And that was the only reason why. Not because he enjoyed the occasional pun or anything. Definitely not that.

“Bleh, mornin’.” He rubbed his eyes. They still had a bit of sleep crusties in them. Gross. Karkat wasn’t sure he could even be considered human before he consumed her coffee. He had become dependent on it, and he was pretty sure that she knew and was secretly thrilled.

While she was getting his coffee ready, he dug his wallet out and got out the appropriate amount of money for his coffee and snuck a tip in the jar like he always did when she wasn’t looking. He couldn’t go around getting a reputation, you see. 

By the time she came back to the counter, he was already half asleep on his feet, swaying gently to the indiscriminate classic rock station she had playing.

“Puuurrrlease, Karkitty! I didn’t take that long making your coffee!” Nepeta snarked at him.

His eyes snapped fully open and he immediately rolled them. “Just give me the coffee.” Karkat held out his hands in expectation. She withheld it.

“Are you coming over next Friday night for Dungeons and Dragons like you promised?”

Karkat groaned in frustration and raked his hands through his hair. “Jesus Christ, Nepeta. All I want is my coffee. Which I PAID for! Its like I’m a fucking dentist trying to pull your goddamn molars, but in order to do that I have to first chase you down the highway and shoot you with a tranquilizer dart just to get near you.” Karkat’s voice rose in pitch. “ _For the love of God please just give me my coffee!_ ”

She rose an eyebrow and held it up higher.

Karkat swore he could feel a blood vessel burst in his temple. “ARRRGH! Yes, I’m coming to your goddamn circlejerk roleplaying night! Now, can I have it??”

With a smile like the cat who got the cream, Nepeta lowered her arm enough for Karkat to snatch the coffee from her grasp.

He spun around and headed for a table, but Nepeta called behind him. “And don’t forget your costume! Otherwise you’ll have to wear Equius’s spare!” Karkat shuddered in revulsion. He would rather be forced to eat all of his own hair than to wear Equius’s sweat stained rejects. Especially a costume. Probably of some kind of weird horse with an udder. Karkat shuddered again. Sometimes he wondered how he was friends with these people.

He distractedly waved an arm out to the side in acknowledgement and hurried away from the conversation to a table. He plopped down in a chair and broke out his phone to text Terezi about plans for the rest of the weekend. Sometime while they were texting, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen started playing over the coffeeshop’s speakers. Karkat could literally never resist singing along to Queen.

Alas, he was in public, even if he was fairly certain it was only him and Nepeta in the coffeeshop at the moment.

Well, he could still sing it a liiittle bit. Like, just a bit. Under his breath.

Still on his phone, he murmured along to the song. God, he loved Bohemian Rhapsody. He loved Queen, period. 

You know what, screw actually using his phone. It would make an excellent makeshift, discreet pretend microphone. Karkat closed his eyes and “quietly” sang along.

“ _Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,  
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth_.”

Abruptly, Karkat heard applause. Well, one person applauding. He assumed it was Nepeta until he heard an unmistakably male voice replace it.

“ _The show must go on!_ ”

Karkat looked up to see a guy about his age come from out of nowhere and head toward him miming an air guitar and singing(pretty well actually).

“ _The show must go on._  
Inside my heart is breaking  
My make-up may be flaking  
But my smile still stays on.”

He stopped once he reached Karkat, and seemed to be waiting for Karkat to say something. Karkat looked at him. He was tall and lanky, with the lightest blond hair Karkat had ever seen. He was wearing a baseball tee, ripped jeans and converse, and was also wearing a pair of douchebaggy aviators. His shoulders slouched a little and he shoved his hands in his pockets while waiting for Karkat to respond. Karkat replayed what the guy had sung in his brain. Karkat must have been louder than he intended to be and this guy had to be a jerk about it. At least he was making himself more of an embarrassment than Karkat did.

Karkat stared up at him and rose an eyebrow. “Wrong song, assclown.”

The shades guy regained his confidence and shrugged. “I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things. We can do the tango just for two.”

He felt his face flush. Looking around in disconcertment, Karkat saw that this guy really was the only other person in the shop besides him and Nepeta.

Now that he was thinking of it, literally when had he even come in? Karkat had been sitting at the table pretty much the whole time. Karkat opened his mouth to instinctively shut down this blond douchecanoe, but. But. He was an attractive douchecanoe. Who apparently only spoke in lyrics. And this could be fun. No doubt this guy couldn’t keep up with Karkat’s knowledge of Queen anyways.

Karkat smirked. “Buddy you're a boy make a big noise  
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day  
You got mud on yo' face  
You big disgrace  
Kickin' your can all over the place”

The blond put a hand over his heart. “I’m just a poor boy from a poor family.” He paused, hope written across his face. “Also, my name is Dave. Yours would be?”

Karkat heaved a dramatic sigh. He felt giddy from the banter. “Spare me my life from this monstrosity.”

Dave tilted an eyebrow. “Don’t play hard to get.”

Karkat’s grin betrayed his words. “I've done my sentence, but committed no crime… And my name is Karkat.”

Dave smiled widely. “Awesome. Don’t stop me now, I’m having such a good time.”

Karkat waved a hand dismissively, still grinning. “No time for losers.”

Dave smirked and shrugged. “If you wanna have a good time, just give me a call.” He winked. “Ima sex machine ready to reload.”

Karkat hesitated for a moment. This was the most fun he had in ages. Time to see if Dave could figure this one out.

He blushed as he spoke. “But it's been no bed of roses,  
No pleasure cruise.  
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race  
And I ain't gonna lose.”

Dave paused, taking a moment to consider. “Is…is that a yes?”

Karkat blushed even harder. “Yeah.”

A squealing sound came from behind the counter. They both turned to look. Nepeta had been watching them and had clapped her hands over her mouth as if that would hide the fact she’d been eavesdropping. 

Karkat gaped at her for a second before turning back to Dave. “So uh, how do you want to do this?”

Dave bit his lip. Karkat forced himself not to stare at Dave’s mouth as he spoke. “Um, you free tomorrow night?”

Karkat nodded. Dave nodded back. “Like, we could meet at Lakeside Park at 7:00 and go from there. Maybe grab a bite to eat?”

“Yeah.” Karkat pulled out his phone and unlocked it. “What’s your number? Um, just in case.”

Dave smirked and grabbed it from Karkat and typed in his number, typed in something else for a moment, then tossed it back. “I sent a text to my phone from yours so now I have your number too.” As if on cue, his phone dinged. He glanced at it and grinned. 

“I gotta get going, but I wanna say. It was fucking incredible talking to you today. You are…” He trailed off, looking Karkat up and down. Karkat felt his face light up like a traffic light. Dave cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll be there.”

Dave nodded and gave a thumbs up, then headed out the door. 

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Karkitty! You have a date!! Oh he’s so cute too!”

Karkat gave her a small smile. He could hardly believe it. What a fucking morning. If his date with Dave tomorrow was anything like how they met today, Karkat was sure to end the date with either a heart attack or with him falling in love.

He pulled out his phone to check the text that Dave had sent to himself. 

Sent: 

The Bae<3:  
I get so lonely, lonely, lonely  
Yeah, I want to love you  
Yeah, give it to me ;)))))

Karkat huffed to himself and typed out a message to Dave.

The Bae<3:  
BUY ME A DRINK FIRST, ASSHAT.

Karkat didn’t know what was going to happen going forward, but he knew he was going to have fun along the way.


End file.
